I don't have anything in particular to blog about tonight; if it were up to me, I'd be sleeping right now.

However, since my body has decided that is currently not an option, here I am.

When I say I don't have anything to blog about, that technically means that I found myself on blogger with no specific plan or topic in mind, but it certainly doesn't mean there is nothing on my mind. If anything, there is too much in my brain tonight and I'm just not sure if I can sort through enough of it to make a coherent entry. Time to change gears.

On Thursday, while I was putting in some office hours at church, I found myself with some free time on my hands before band practice. Since it had been a very long time since I was last able to just sit down and REALLY sing, I decided it was long overdue. (I'm actually trying to remember just how long, and can't think of the last time. That is a little saddening.)
There are few things I enjoy more than sitting down at a piano with no agenda other than to just make music, whether that involves just me and the instrument or adding my voice into the mix. Before I got tendonitis, I would sometimes sit in a practice room for hours at a time, just playing.
I had a great practice session. My voice took a little while to fully warm up, but after an hour or so I was singing about as well as when I was in school and practicing for an hour or two every day. Maybe it was because I was having a good voice day, but I started thinking about purpose. Specifically, musical purpose.
I don't regret deciding not to go into the opera field. I think that with work and some luck I could have made it happen, but I think I would have been miserable in that lifestyle. But it does make me wonder sometimes what I'm doing, or rather what I should be doing. Playing and singing for church is wonderful, and I firmly believe that my being where I am is a blessing to the congregation, and to me as well. However, there is only so much I can do on a Sunday morning. What is the good in being able to sing opera if I never sing for anyone?
This is an issue I find myself coming back to periodically, but I'm not sure that it has an easy answer. If anything, I'm sure it's similar to what many people feel after graduating college with degrees that they aren't currently making use of- what am I supposed to do with my newly-honed abilities in writing papers on philosophy? or being a theater major who isn't currently in a play?
I think the question really becomes, is this something that is worth pursuing in and of itself, even if I never sing for another person again? And for me, the answer to that question is yes, definitely. Not just for the fact that I personally find such joy in doing it, but for the fact that God gave me this talent, and every time I sing, I give Him glory. That may happen in front of a crowd of people, or it may happen walking on a beach by myself at night, but either way He is glorified.